!!!!!!! THERE IS NOW A BAPTISM DATE !!!!!!!!

Tonight, I had the opportunity to meet with the sister missionaries. They're pretty much the best. We've been meeting weekly since I've been here at college. And tonight was one of the most amazing spiritual experiences I've ever had.

An update and much busyness

Hey internet friends! Is busyness even a word?

Image source

Turns out graduating high school doesn't mean you suddenly have free time. I have a job. Grad parties take a lot of work. I didn't realize I would have to take college placement tests. There is much cleaning of my room to be done in prep for moving out. There are many thank-you cards to be written for grad party gifts. Orientation is coming up fast, and so are all the things I have to do before going. And I'm not even close to moving in yet!

So I would like to apologize for being absent from the blogging world. Not only have I not been posting, I probably haven't read any posts by my fellow bloggers. I'll try to get to that soon, but my life is kinda hectic at the moment :) It's like life just keeps getting busier. I should probably get used to it and kick my procrastination habit.....

Update on me taking the missionary discussions:

Patience, grasshopper

Today was my first missionary discussion :D

I'm 18 now, I've finished my senior year of high school (no more homework!!!) and I'm super excited to be taking steps towards finally getting baptized!!!

The discussion was amazing. The Elders told me a little about themselves, and I shared my conversion story (well, the events thus far, anyway, as I obviously haven't been baptized so it isn't quite official). We talked about my parents' thoughts on me joining the church (more on that later). One of them said he felt impressed that we would receive revelation as to how to help my parents feel more comfortable with my conversion. They asked me how I think of God; I said as a loving, Fatherly figure who cares about us. We read some scriptures and talked about the Restoration. My goodness, the Spirit was strong. And also, I learned that I need to have patience.

So maybe I can't get baptized June 14 because my dad needs time to ask questions and come to terms with what this all means. A couple of my friends might miss my baptism, but it's more important that my dad is happy and comfortable with my choice. I really don't want to wait, but I've known for two years that Heavenly Father is trying to teach me patience. Maybe I haven't quite learned enough yet :)

Know this: right now, I am just as serious about getting baptized as I was June 12, 2012, when I was prompted to make my choice. I know that this is the right path for me to follow. I'm not doing this because my friends are members. I'm not getting baptized to make people happy.

I want to get baptized because the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is Christ's true Church. I want to get baptized because we are to follow Christ's example. I want to get baptized because I know with all my heart that Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost prompted me to choose this path. Baptism symbolizes beginning a new life, but that doesn't change my personality. It barely changes my standards, because I've been trying to live LDS standards for two years now, maybe even a little more. It might change how I spend my Sundays, but that's certainly a good change. "By their fruits ye shall know them," and attending church will certainly bring forth good fruit in my life.

LDS readers, I want you to think back to your baptism. Why did you want to get baptized then? If you were a convert preparing for baptism right now, what reason would you give for wanting to get baptized? How has your testimony grown by attending church since you were baptized? Please share in the comments, I would love to hear your experiences :)

<3 Marie-Rose

I have a testimony of fasting and prayer

Last night, I had the opportunity to attend Stake Conference for the first time ever. Yesterday was my mom's birthday, so I didn't think my parents would let me come. BUT my neighbor, seminary class, and various leaders prayed and fasted that I would be able to go.

Friday night, my dad told me I wasn't allowed to go. I was majorly disappointed, especially cuz Katie would be speaking. More specifically, she had been asked to speak about her work as a member missionary, being involved in both my conversion and the conversion of another friend (whom I call BatMoose on the internet). (PS I've asked Katie to email me her talk so I can put it up as a guest post for you guys!)

I love springtime!

Today, I had the opportunity to attend one hour of church. Due to the timing of various other things that happened today, the only hour I could go to was Sunday School. Typically, if I can only go for an hour, I choose sacrament meeting or Young Women's, but this time I didn't really have a choice.

When I arrived at the church, sacrament meeting was still in progress, so I awkwardly stood out in the lobby. I didn't want to walk into the chapel (please tell me that's what it's called...) cuz then my friends would see me and my being there would no longer be a surprise. So I stood there waiting.

Choice and Accountability

I was reading The Work and the Glory today, specifically the 7th book.

 

It covers events in church history from when Joseph Smith was martyred (well, like 2 weeks-ish after) to when the Saints start leaving Nauvoo for the West. The fictional family that the book is centered on, the Steeds, have to make a choice. Do they stay in Nauvoo, or do they follow the Lord's command to go West? For most of the family, the choice is simple. But for a few family members, who are not members of the church, the choice is not so easy. They can stay behind, but they'll probably never see the rest of the family again. But why would they go, if they don't believe it is the Lord's will? 

One family I would like to focus on is Will and Alice. 

Some background, for those of you who haven't read the books (and possible spoilers if you're not to book 7!)

Will is the adopted son of Joshua Steed. Joshua is not a member of the church. Will, after much soul-searching and arguing with his father, is a member. 

Alice is the daughter of Joshua's business partner, Walter Samuelson. Samuelson isn't exactly a fan of the Mormons. So when his daughter decides to be baptized, there's problems. Samuelson is glad Alice and Will are engaged (he and Joshua tried matchmaking a couple years prior), but that doesn't make it okay for her to get baptized. Eventually a compromise is reached, involving when and where Alice shall be baptized and married, and Will is to work for Samuelson for 6 months or so. He thinks he can convince Will to stay in St. Louis instead of going West in the spring.

But then Will is called to go to New York, and Alice with him, and accepting the call means Alice's parents will likely never ever speak to her again. Especially because going to New York means getting on a boat and sailing to California. Because they have to leave right now and there isn't time for Will to work for Samuelson for six months. 

Can you say #convertproblems? Oh my goodness.

Will and Alice have a choice to make. Do they follow the will of Heavenly Father? Or do they follow the will of Alice's parents?

Consider the consequences. If they go to New York, there exists an immediate, painful consequence: Alice loses her family. But if they don't go to New York, there exists some less-immediate and mostly vague consequence, eternally. 

The question is, which is worse? Well, as an outsider viewing the situation, going against God is worse. But what if it were your family? That would be exceedingly difficult. 

For as many posts that I tag "#convertproblems," I have it easy compared to many. As weird as it will be to tell my sisters that I'm getting baptized, as much as my parents think maybe I'll forget about it and it won't happen, as much as I freak out about my extended family finding out... no one is going to disown me because I want to join the Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Things might get a little tense, but they'll work out in time. 

I know I'm straying from my topic a little bit, but I think I can find a way to bring it back. Bear with me :) 

Not every convert can make the transition easily. I've read many difficult conversion stories, and one of my best friends is struggling through one right now. I can't imagine what that must be like. 

I admire them. Very muchly. 

To be able to make that choice, between family and faith.... I don't know if I could do that. It's an almost unimaginable sacrifice. But we are all called to make difficult choices. Everyone has their own trials. They may be different trials than yours. But they're still difficult. 

D'you know what? We all still need to make those choices. Making those choices, enduring those trials... That's how we grow. That's how we mature. That's why we're here on Earth. 

Every choice you make, you're accountable for it. You have free will, agency, but there's a catch: consequences. That's why they call it "Choice and Accountability." Because you can choose to do whatever you want, but you're accountable for those choices. And now that I'm repeating myself, I will leave you with a single question. 

If you were in Will and Alice's situation, what would your choice be? 

<3 Marie-Rose

I love seminary

Seminary is my favorite. Yesterday I had the opportunity to go for the 5th time this school year. It made me happy.

We talked a lot about missionary moments and warm fuzzies :) Makes me want to get a bunch of BOMs to carry around with me everywhere. I love hearing what my classmates (and teacher) are doing to spread the gospel. It reminds me of myself as an investigator. I had many much "I can relate" moments that morning :)

Then we moved on to discuss Mosiah 25. To be quite honest, I was totally lost. I guess it helps to go to class every day, d'you think??

I really liked how we talked about being happy and sad at the same time. 

Mosiah 25:7-11

7 And now, when Mosiah had made an end of reading the records, his people who tarried in the land were struck with wonder and amazement.

8 For they knew not what to think; for when they beheld those that had been delivered out of bondage they were filled with exceedingly great joy.

9 And again, when they thought of their brethren who had been slain by the Lamanites they were filled with sorrow, and even shed many tears of sorrow.

10 And again, when they thought of the immediate goodness of God, and his power in delivering Alma and his brethren out of the hands of the Lamanites and of bondage, they did raise their voices and give thanks to God.

11 And again, when they thought upon the Lamanites, who were their brethren, of their sinful and polluted state, they were filled with pain and anguish for the welfare of their souls.

See? Being happy and sad at the same time. Some examples were shared, as well. One that struck me was from church history, when they had to leave Nauvoo, right after they had finished the temple. They were happy to have finished, but sad to be leaving their awesome temple that they had worked so hard to finish. 

For me, an example of being happy and sad at the same time can be found in the fact that I went to seminary yesterday. I was so happy to be able to go, but at the same time sad because it was only the 5th time I've gone all school year. Ridiculousness, I'm telling you. 

Some questions our teacher asked us were, "how's your revelation coming? Do you recognize the Spirit's influence?" I realized I need to work on those things. I'll have days or even weeks when I feel the Spirit regularly, but then life happens and I forget to be listening for His promptings. 

Anywho. So basically, I love seminary and I really wish I could go more often. Especially cuz it's the Book of Mormon. I grew up learning about the Bible (even though it wasn't the best Bible education ever....), but I don't know the BOM as well as I would like to. Having read it three times kind of helps, but there are confusing parts that I still don't quite get. 

Go to seminary, people! It's an amazing opportunity, and you don't wanna waste it :) 

<3 Marie-Rose

BYU

So my first choice for what college I wanna go to is BYU. I figure, being a new convert and leaving home for the first time, it'd be easier for me to be surrounded by other members. It'd be more natural to stick to my standards, and it'd be much easier to find an awesome guy :)

But guess what.

As mentioned in this post, I can't go to BYU :( it's crazy far away from where I live. My mom doesn't want me to be that far away. And the major I originally wanted to go for (fashion design, yeah!) doesn't exist at BYU. RAWR.

So I shall be going someplace else. It has Institute, but the program is super small (yes, I look into all this stuff waaay ahead of time!). Plus out of state tuition is nasty. *sigh*

But ya know what I figure? There's gotta be a reason BYU isn't gonna work out. There's gotta be something at the college I plan on going to that I need to do/see/experience.

So the plan is to trust in Heavenly Father's timing and His plan because it's much more awesometastic than mine could ever be :)

<3 Marie-Rose

PS sorry this is so short compared to my usual posts. Wifi has not been my friend the past couple days, so I haven't been online to post. I've got wifi for the moment, but not for very long, so I had to make it quick in order to get the post up.

Eternal Awesomeness

I know I've done a post like this before. But I'm just so excited, guys. This is some exciting stuff. 

Six. Months. From. Today. 

Oookkaaayyy, but Marie-Rose, what's so special about June 14?? 

I wanna be baptized that day, that's what's special about it!! 

SIX MONTHS!!!!! That's so very crazy close!! And super exciting! 

It doesn't feel real yet. It probably won't feel real for a very long time. Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for a possibility rather than a certainty. Like an "I might be able to get baptized" rather than an "I WILL GET BAPTIZED." I still WANT to either way. But oftentimes I'm scared that something will prevent it. Which is totally irrational, cuz I will be 18 and I can't think of anything that could stop it. But ya know how, whenever you want something SOOO much, it seems like it always falls through? I'm terrified of that. 

Because I want to be baptized more than I've ever wanted anything. 

Earthly desires are one thing. But baptism is important. It means something eternally. And I want that eternal awesomeness. I want the Holy Ghost to be with me, I want to be worthy to have Him with me, and I want to be baptized. 

<3 Marie-Rose

Ps I saw Batmoose today and it MADE MY DAY. I hope you still read this, Batmoose :) <3 I got you a Christmas present. Hopefully I see you on Thursday. I love you! 

212 Days

Guess what today is.

It's November 14. Guess what happens 7 months from today.

Seven months from today is June 14, 2014. That, my friends, is the day I will be baptized. 212 days from today.

It's been a year and 5 months since I decided I wanted to join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. THAT'S SUPER AWESOME. I am SO EXCITED.

I know this Church is true. I know because I feel peace when I read the scriptures. I know because simply thinking about how happy I'll be when I get baptized makes me super happy now. I know because the gospel has brought me nothing but joy. I know because every time I see the little spire thingy on the Stake Center, I'm reminded of how awesome this Church is. I know because talking about our faith brings my friends and I closer. I know because I've felt the Spirit prompting me in the right direction.

I KNOW that I'm in the right place. I know I belong here.

Happy happy happy :D

In the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN.

<3 Marie-Rose

PS I'm not doing 30 days of Thanksgiving like lots of the awesome bloggers I follow, cuz I know I would forget or not have time and feel bad cuz I missed a day, but today I'm thankful for my faith :D

I wanna be baptized!

D'you know how excited I am for that day to finally come? I even have a date picked out, even though it won't be until June. I have a countdown and everything.

244 days until June 14, 2014, in case you wondered :)

No, that date is not my birthday. See, on June 12, 2012, I made the decision to be baptized. Two days later, I told my parents (June 14). So the 14th is kinda special for that reason. Plus, in 2014, the 12th isn't a Saturday, but the 14th is. And EFY will be that week, so most of my friends would be out of town on the 12th. But they should be back by Saturday evening (I hope)!

It's been a long time to wait. I still have a long time to go. But at the end of these two years I've been waiting, it'll totally be worth it.

Sometimes I feel left out and frustrated that I haven't been baptized yet. My friends do everything they can to help me not feel like that, and I appreciate it very muchly, but it still happens.

Sometimes, tho, I'm just so excited to be so close. It doesn't matter that it hasn't happened yet. It will soon. My mind is made up and nothing will stop me :)

<3 Marie-Rose

General Conference

I was unable to watch general conference over the weekend. It was super sad. My aunt was in town (we never get to see her, she lives super far away), and she's my mom's sister (my mom's side of the family being strongly Catholic), so I didn't want to make waves by asking to go to a friend's house to watch conference. Plus it was homecoming weekend and I had waay too much homework to do and my parents wanted to do family stuff with my aunt......... *sigh* Life. So therefore I couldn't watch conference. (don't get me wrong, seeing my aunt and family stuff and all that jazz was awesome. But still)

So I downloaded audio podcast versions of conference talks on my iPod.

I haven't quite figured out the formatting of the podcast app yet (apparently Apple did some weird thing where they took podcasts out of the music app? And reviews of the Apple podcast app are terrible, so I got some other app. Anywho). But I kinda sorta know how to pick a talk and get it to play. I can't tell which ones go with which session or in what order and it drives me crazy, but that's okay. I turn the volume all the way up on my iPod speakers (I drive a super old car and dunno how to connect my iPod to the car's speakers) and listen to the talks that way on the way to school. It's not quite as loud as I like, and I miss stuff cuz of that (plus driving safely is a little more important in that moment than concentrating 100% on what the speaker is saying), but it leaves me in a good mood.

Which is like my substitute for seminary, seeing as how I can't do that, either (can you tell I'm frustrated with all this stuff I can't do?). Anywho.

So I really like the idea of having access to conference talks on my iPod. Even if I'd been able to watch, I still woulda downloaded them anyway. Cuz there's always those days when you need to go back and remember how awesome conference is. It's a long six months between conferences. And with the holiday season, I'm willing to bet that a lot of us will take some sort of car trip. I know my family will. Twelve hours in the car with my sisters? Yeah, not fun. So I "listen to music" *cough*conference*cough* and that helps a lot. (They don't know I'm converting. That would be awkward. So I just try not to let church come up in conversation....)

Even if you don't take a long car trip, I'm sure you could find a time when it's useful to have access to the words of the Prophet and general authorities. In the words of my speech teacher, the spoken word "goes out, and then falls" (or something to that effect, I can't quote her exactly). But if you listen to it over and over, you can remember it! You ever have that feeling when you're reading the scriptures and you recognize a passage because someone used it in conference? I have. I hear it in their voice, too. It's pretty awesome.

<3 Marie-Rose

Seminary

You might think I'm crazy. And maybe I am. But today I got to go to seminary and I was SUPER excited.

I rarely get to go to seminary. My parents aren't Mormon. I wasn't raised Mormon (convert, remember?). So at my house, sleep and homework comes before seminary. Always. Except today! One of my best friends is moving out of state soon. She asked me if I could come to seminary one more time before she goes. With my work schedule and my sleep schedule and my school schedule, today was the best day for me. So I went!! :D

I absolutely love our teacher. She's so full of energy. She's decided to focus on the scriptures majorly this year, to prepare us for missions. So we talked about the plates that the Book of Mormon came from. She showed a cheesy little video that really explained it well. There's a bunch of different plates, most of them abridged by Mormon and Moroni.

Anywho.

After class, I stuck around to chat with her a little bit, cuz I can't come to class every day. She told me how much she loves it when I can come, and how the class loves it too. She actually remembers that one time when I was 14 or so, when my Catholic religion teacher was doing a unit on other religions and got the Mormonism bit wrong and I corrected her! I've been asking questions about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints since I was in 7th grade. In 9th grade is when my Catholic religion teacher gave us incorrect information. So my current seminary teacher was pretty impressed that I'd actually stood up for the church, before I'd even decided to become a member.

So seminary kinda made my day :) not only cuz of chatting with my teacher after, but cuz I felt the Spirit during the lesson. We spent much time pointing out why it's obvious that Joseph Smith didn't write the Book of Mormon, he HAD to have translated it, and he HAD to have had help from the Spirit.

I know, deep in my heart, that this church is true.

And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen :)