Insert "What am I doing with my life" rant here

Guys, remember that thing about how I like fashion design but I'm also majoring in chemistry but taking fashion classes and maybe minoring in it and I wanna run a dress shop but chemistry will definitely pay better? (If you've read my About Me page, you know what I'm talking about)

Yeah, about that.

!!!!!!! THERE IS NOW A BAPTISM DATE !!!!!!!!

Tonight, I had the opportunity to meet with the sister missionaries. They're pretty much the best. We've been meeting weekly since I've been here at college. And tonight was one of the most amazing spiritual experiences I've ever had.

Guest Post by Mikayla: A Conversion Story

Hey guys, so I don't remember if I mentioned this, but a while back I had a reader contact me wanting to talk about the church. She had been attending church for like 6 months, but due to the lack of a ride and her job she had to quit going. She had questions about some things, like the Word of Wisdom, but she was pretty sure the church was mostly true. We sent emails back and forth a lot, and eventually added each other on Facebook and exchanged phone numbers. She just got baptized last Saturday the 13th, and I am SO happy for her. I asked her to write a guest post, and here it is :)

<3 Marie-Rose

#collegebound, and History Trek

This whole being an adult thing isn't working out for me, guys. If we could go back in time one year so I could have my senior year back, that would be great! :)

Pioneers

D'you know how, in the scriptures, they're always like "remember how the Lord brought our fathers out of captivity," "remember the captivity of our fathers," etc?

I was reading Alma 29 the other night, and came across these verses:

11 Yea, and I also remember the captivity of my fathers; for I surely do know that the Lord did deliver them out of bondage, and by this did establish his church; yea, the Lord God, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, did deliver them out of bondage.
12 Yea, I have always remembered the captivity of my fathers; and that same God who delivered them out of the hands of the Egyptians did deliver them out of bondage.

An update and much busyness

Hey internet friends! Is busyness even a word?

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Turns out graduating high school doesn't mean you suddenly have free time. I have a job. Grad parties take a lot of work. I didn't realize I would have to take college placement tests. There is much cleaning of my room to be done in prep for moving out. There are many thank-you cards to be written for grad party gifts. Orientation is coming up fast, and so are all the things I have to do before going. And I'm not even close to moving in yet!

So I would like to apologize for being absent from the blogging world. Not only have I not been posting, I probably haven't read any posts by my fellow bloggers. I'll try to get to that soon, but my life is kinda hectic at the moment :) It's like life just keeps getting busier. I should probably get used to it and kick my procrastination habit.....

Update on me taking the missionary discussions:

Patience, grasshopper

Today was my first missionary discussion :D

I'm 18 now, I've finished my senior year of high school (no more homework!!!) and I'm super excited to be taking steps towards finally getting baptized!!!

The discussion was amazing. The Elders told me a little about themselves, and I shared my conversion story (well, the events thus far, anyway, as I obviously haven't been baptized so it isn't quite official). We talked about my parents' thoughts on me joining the church (more on that later). One of them said he felt impressed that we would receive revelation as to how to help my parents feel more comfortable with my conversion. They asked me how I think of God; I said as a loving, Fatherly figure who cares about us. We read some scriptures and talked about the Restoration. My goodness, the Spirit was strong. And also, I learned that I need to have patience.

So maybe I can't get baptized June 14 because my dad needs time to ask questions and come to terms with what this all means. A couple of my friends might miss my baptism, but it's more important that my dad is happy and comfortable with my choice. I really don't want to wait, but I've known for two years that Heavenly Father is trying to teach me patience. Maybe I haven't quite learned enough yet :)

Know this: right now, I am just as serious about getting baptized as I was June 12, 2012, when I was prompted to make my choice. I know that this is the right path for me to follow. I'm not doing this because my friends are members. I'm not getting baptized to make people happy.

I want to get baptized because the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is Christ's true Church. I want to get baptized because we are to follow Christ's example. I want to get baptized because I know with all my heart that Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost prompted me to choose this path. Baptism symbolizes beginning a new life, but that doesn't change my personality. It barely changes my standards, because I've been trying to live LDS standards for two years now, maybe even a little more. It might change how I spend my Sundays, but that's certainly a good change. "By their fruits ye shall know them," and attending church will certainly bring forth good fruit in my life.

LDS readers, I want you to think back to your baptism. Why did you want to get baptized then? If you were a convert preparing for baptism right now, what reason would you give for wanting to get baptized? How has your testimony grown by attending church since you were baptized? Please share in the comments, I would love to hear your experiences :)

<3 Marie-Rose

Tutoring at midnight

I am exhausted and I really need to get up on time tomorrow, so this is gonna be short, but on Twitter this morning I promised you guys a post. So here it is :)

I'm up super late tonight cuz I was helping my sister with her math homework. Her class is learning the same concept as my Calc II class, but she's seeing it for the first time, whereas we're expanding on things we've seen before. My sister is struggling with the concept. I feel like I finally understand it at the level her class requires, but I'm drowning in the new material I'm supposed to learn. 

Kintsukuroi: a method of repairing pottery and people

The other day, I was listening to a conference talk from October 2013, cuz I have some old talks saved on my iPod and I hadn't yet had a chance to download the new ones (PS I've since downloaded them, just haven't had time to listen to  any of them).

Called of Him to Declare His Word, Elder Randy D. Funk

This talk is all about missionary service, but that's not really the point that hit me.

We are broken so that Heavenly Father can heal us to be stronger than we were before.

Olympic Thoughts. Again.

Remember this post where I talked about the awesomeness of Olympic spirit that brings the whole world together to celebrate athletes? I'm not going to deny the awesomeness. But watching the Ladies' free skate the other night, I had a slightly different perspective of the Olympic Games.

I found myself wishing that I was an athlete. I was almost an athlete, once. I was a gymnast for approximately 13 years. I never competed, and by most standards I wasn't even very good. But I could do more push-ups than any guy in my 6th grade class, and that was what mattered to me :)

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 Watching the ice skaters, and also bits of the ladies' skiing half pipe (it has a snazzier, more official name, but I don't know what it is), I wanted to be good at something. I wanted to be the BEST at something. Preferably something like gymnastics or ice skating. I wanted to be the only one who was able to do a certain trick, my "trademark." I regretted quitting gymnastics. I regretted that I never competed in gymnastics. I wished I had taken skating lessons. Why is it that I've only performed in front of a crowd once ever? (And that was when I was tricked into being in the chorus for the 8th grade play)

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It shocked me that it was bothering me so much. Right now, I'm more outgoing than I've ever been in my life, and that's not saying much. It shouldn't bother me that I never did those things. Even if I had the talents and skills to compete at the Olympic level, I don't think I would want to. So what up? Why did I suddenly covet want to have the skills to be in the Olympic spotlight?

Short answer: Satan's influence.

See, every person who has ever or will ever live(d) is special. Sometimes it feels like people just say that to make each other feel good, but it's true. Heavenly Father knows each and every one of us personally, and He loves us, too. Given that Heavenly Father is so important and well-known - there's even books about Him! And some "BY" Him, too! - I feel pretty special that He knows me personally. That's like having Katy Perry on speed dial, texting Taylor Swift constantly, and having lunch with the President on a regular basis. *Only a million times better*

And guess what? Satan wants us to be miserable. And a good way to do that is to get us to believe that we aren't special or important. So in that moment, watching the Olympics, comparing myself to Olympians was a pretty good way to make me "feel like a failure" (as my sister said while watching the 15-year-old Polina Edmunds skate waay better than we will ever be able to).

The world measures people's worth according to their athletic talent during the Olympics. But sports don't make the world go round. Kindness and common sense and education and service, that's what makes the world go round. And hard work, like at a legit job. (And lots of other things, but those are all I can think of at the moment)

You don't have to be an athlete to be a beloved child of Heavenly Father. You don't have to be the best in your field to be important. You are you, and you are a pretty awesome person to be.

<3 Marie-Rose

Fear

This post is a little different. In this post, I am vulnerable. I don't have anything to teach you. I don't have anything that I'm persuading you to do.

I'm just scared. 

Ether 12:27

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

I have this weakness. I am deathly afraid of shots or immunizations or whatever you want to call them. I'm terribly needlephobic (unless I'm sewing, in which case I'm perfectly fine). 

A couple years ago, my mom took me in to get the flu mist. My sisters also got the mist. My mom got the flu shot. I passed out. 

You're probably thinking, Wait. What? 

Yes. Yes I did. I was wearing my heavy winter coat, I may not have had enough food in me, there was a terrible antiseptic-hospital-smell, I was terrified that someone might change their mind and give me the shot instead of the mist, and the mist itself for some reason made me slightly nauseous. And then they gave my mom the shot. I don't remember if I watched that or not. All I remember is trying to breathe more deeply, saying "I don't feel so good," trying to sit down....and then waking up on the floor. Laughing hysterically because I couldn't believe I had actually passed out. 

Since then, they always make me lay down for shots. Apparently it's impossible to pass out that way.

In health class two years ago, they showed us first aid videos. Really cheesy, poor quality actors, vey fake-looking.... But I couldn't handle it. There was a woman who was supposed to have a piece of glass in her arm, and they walked us through what to do in that situation (leading up to this clip, there had been several other, similar clips). I couldn't watch the screen. I tried to breathe deeper. I felt nauseous. My friends tell me I looked absolutely awful. I went up to the teacher and told him I needed to sit out in the hall. I laid on the floor with my knees up for quite a while. Got a drink. Etc. 

When I went in for an appointment with the oral surgeon, the pre-wisdom-teeth-removal-appointment when they go through all the legal stuff, the guy explained what dry socket is and how it can happen, and what happens in your mouth. I wouldn't let him finish, instead laying on the floor and, nearly hysterically, rambling in my head about the tree outside the window. 

My point is, I don't do medical-y things. There's more stories, about hospitals and clinics and that one time when I was approximately 4 and tensed my muscles right before they gave me a shot in the leg and I still get phantom pains to this day even though I can't remember which leg it was. 

So guess what. I have the last round of two different immunizations tomorrow. Thank goodness they're the last ones of these two series. BUT. I'm pretty much going to be FREAKING OUT until tomorrow afternoon. The previous round of these particular shots, I prayed. At least, I think I did. I asked for comfort and for Him to help me to calm down and things like that. I know that most of my fear is probably just the mental part. How I focus on it and freak out and make myself even more terrified just by thinking about it so much. If He could just help me to not worry so much, to just deal with the actual physical pain (or sometimes the lack thereof...?) when I get to that point, and not worry myself sick in the hours and minutes beforehand. 

Guys, I am probably never going to reread this post. 

I know I'm majorly overreacting. I wish I wouldn't do that. But I don't know how to prevent it. Cuz while I could find ways to distract myself tonight, or tomorrow morning before we leave, and pretend it won't happen....I don't have that ability anymore as soon as we sit down in the waiting room. Even sitting in the car is a struggle. 

How can this weak thing become strong? I know He could do it somehow. He could "cure" me of my fear right this instant. I'm not asking for that. I just want to be a little less nervous, to be a little less tense, to be a lot less stressed out, and preferably not cry at the clinic.

<3 Marie-Rose

Guest Post by Eliza: Dare to Stand Alone

Have you ever read Eliza's blog? She writes over at Mark This Day and she is super awesome. (PS isn't her blog name the greatest?? It's a line taken from one of my favorite-est songs ever, "I Will"!) Anywho, if you haven't read her blog, today we're doing a blog swap :) This means that she wrote the following post, and if you go visit her blog, you can see my guest post!

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Hey readers of Hope Always and Pray Constantly! My name is Eliza, and I'm going to be your host for tonight's show. Coming up will be some action you do not want to miss! First, we will visit today's Prophet, Thomas S Monson for some advice about standing up for what you believe. Then, we will take a stroll down Arithmetic Avenue and find out exactly how many people there are as you stand alone. Finally, we'll follow up with some statistics on who you've got surrounding you.

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When Tommy was a boy, he loved his family and was devoted to God. He grew up with a testimony of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and loved the free country he lived in. That patriotism led him to join the army.

The week was filled with gruesome drills and backbreaking activities. Tommy was looking forward to the rest and relief that the Sabbath would bring. On Sunday morning, the sergeant told all the respective groups to meet. "You Catholics, go to the camp and don't come back until three." A large group left. "Jews, meet over there and do your business, and don't come back until three." The numbers were trickling down. "The rest of you Protestants, go to the quarters and don't come back until three."

Confused, Tommy stood watching the rest of the group file into the forest. "Tommy, you're not a Catholic, or a Jew, or a Protestant. You're a Mormon!" Prepared to face the wrath of his superior (for the army is a gruff thing ;) he stood there and watched. He felt the way we all sometimes feel-- alone, with judging eyes scouring us and our hearts beating. (In my case, I would get all nervous and flustered 'oh no, I have to explain myself in front of HIM?!') People may sometimes judge us for not being mainstream or taking the easy road. But we need to stand up for our beliefs, even in the face of our worst fears (big burly men and peers who could make our lives miserable: that basically sums it up ;).

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The sergeant looked over at the lines and yelled "Just what do you men call yourself?!" Tommy answered loud and clear and unashamed "Mormon, sir!" And his voice echoed. He looked around amazed and found that, though he had thought he was alone, there were about a dozen other stripling warriors who were left behind. "Well, go find someplace to meet, and don't come back til three!"

Like President Monson, we may have to face the different opinions of our peers and risk being alone in the process. But, just as Tommy found, no matter how alone we feel as we stand for what's right, we are never alone.

Math time! From this story, we can see that one=one. But...

One+God= enough

Even: One+God=Majority

Even when we feel alone in standing for the truth, even when it feels like no one is with us, God is. Christ said many times in the scriptures:

Be Still, and know I AM.

With Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ on our side, we can do anything. We are never alone.

One last thing though. God has promised us that angels will surround us and minister unto us. Think of how many angels are behind the veil hoping and praying that we will make the right choices! In fact, I am almost positive that if the veil was taken right now, you would see how many are surrounding YOU.

You are never alone when you are on God's side. Remember that there are more beings for God than against them. (Remember the war in heaven? Two thirds chose God's plan ;)

To quote Tommy again:

May we ever be courageous and prepared to stand for what we believe, and if we must stand alone in the process, may we do so courageously, strengthened by the knowledge that in reality we are never alone when we stand with our Father in Heaven. 

Well thanks for tuning in folks! This has been Eliza--signing out.