!!!!!!! THERE IS NOW A BAPTISM DATE !!!!!!!!

Tonight, I had the opportunity to meet with the sister missionaries. They're pretty much the best. We've been meeting weekly since I've been here at college. And tonight was one of the most amazing spiritual experiences I've ever had.

Making progress

Guess what! I'm at college now! Three weeks of classes under my belt, and I'm really liking it here. Especially the whole I-can-go-to-church-whenever-I-want part :D I'm attending YSA activities, I did (almost) a full fast for the first time on Fast Sunday (still had water, but I get dehydrated easily and that leads to massive headaches. Also, fasting in general used to lead to massive headaches. Last Sunday, though, I was fine!!), and testimony meeting was awesome.

#collegebound, and History Trek

This whole being an adult thing isn't working out for me, guys. If we could go back in time one year so I could have my senior year back, that would be great! :)

An update and much busyness

Hey internet friends! Is busyness even a word?

Image source

Turns out graduating high school doesn't mean you suddenly have free time. I have a job. Grad parties take a lot of work. I didn't realize I would have to take college placement tests. There is much cleaning of my room to be done in prep for moving out. There are many thank-you cards to be written for grad party gifts. Orientation is coming up fast, and so are all the things I have to do before going. And I'm not even close to moving in yet!

So I would like to apologize for being absent from the blogging world. Not only have I not been posting, I probably haven't read any posts by my fellow bloggers. I'll try to get to that soon, but my life is kinda hectic at the moment :) It's like life just keeps getting busier. I should probably get used to it and kick my procrastination habit.....

Update on me taking the missionary discussions:

Patience, grasshopper

Today was my first missionary discussion :D

I'm 18 now, I've finished my senior year of high school (no more homework!!!) and I'm super excited to be taking steps towards finally getting baptized!!!

The discussion was amazing. The Elders told me a little about themselves, and I shared my conversion story (well, the events thus far, anyway, as I obviously haven't been baptized so it isn't quite official). We talked about my parents' thoughts on me joining the church (more on that later). One of them said he felt impressed that we would receive revelation as to how to help my parents feel more comfortable with my conversion. They asked me how I think of God; I said as a loving, Fatherly figure who cares about us. We read some scriptures and talked about the Restoration. My goodness, the Spirit was strong. And also, I learned that I need to have patience.

So maybe I can't get baptized June 14 because my dad needs time to ask questions and come to terms with what this all means. A couple of my friends might miss my baptism, but it's more important that my dad is happy and comfortable with my choice. I really don't want to wait, but I've known for two years that Heavenly Father is trying to teach me patience. Maybe I haven't quite learned enough yet :)

Know this: right now, I am just as serious about getting baptized as I was June 12, 2012, when I was prompted to make my choice. I know that this is the right path for me to follow. I'm not doing this because my friends are members. I'm not getting baptized to make people happy.

I want to get baptized because the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is Christ's true Church. I want to get baptized because we are to follow Christ's example. I want to get baptized because I know with all my heart that Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost prompted me to choose this path. Baptism symbolizes beginning a new life, but that doesn't change my personality. It barely changes my standards, because I've been trying to live LDS standards for two years now, maybe even a little more. It might change how I spend my Sundays, but that's certainly a good change. "By their fruits ye shall know them," and attending church will certainly bring forth good fruit in my life.

LDS readers, I want you to think back to your baptism. Why did you want to get baptized then? If you were a convert preparing for baptism right now, what reason would you give for wanting to get baptized? How has your testimony grown by attending church since you were baptized? Please share in the comments, I would love to hear your experiences :)

<3 Marie-Rose

Guest Post by Katie: Swapping Trust

Hey guys! We're gonna try something new today :) my bestest friend Katie is gonna write a guest post! Unfortunately she doesn't have a blog I can point you to, but maybe we can get her hooked on blogging after doing this once or twice, yes? :)

<3 Marie-Rose

--------------

Hey everyone, Katie here! I've known for about a week now that Marie-Rose wants me to post on her blog, but I haven't been able to think of something that feels right to talk about. Then this morning it hit me: Trust.

Long story short, I've been treated pretty badly by a few people in the last few years, and I've realized that I still have to trust; trust that God will help me, trust myself and what I stand for, and trust that people are good and kind and want to help. I know you guys know what I'm talking about; you've all been in that place. But sometimes we all need a reminder.

When we go through hard times it's easy to think that we deserve it, that we have to fix it, and that we shouldn't trust the same way again. But if we let ourselves think this way, we are being cheated. No one deserves to be treated badly, it's that simple. But we are all cheated, mistreated, and feel defeated at times. This is where we need to remember that at some point we have mistreated someone else. And we still view ourselves for the most part in a positive way, right? We tell ourselves that it was wrong and that we won't treat someone the same way again. So why wouldn't we trust that others think the same way? Though they mistreated us, it's likely they didn't intend to, it just happened that way. They probably think the same way we do and if we trust ourselves to treat others kindly, why wouldn't we trust others to treat us kindly? And if we trust that other people are good, we have to believe that we ourselves are good. We do good things, believe in good things, and are trying to do what we think is right just like everyone else. And though we hurt people sometimes, we are still good. And sometimes we don't have to fix the problem that was made, and we never have to fix it on our own. Sometimes you need to just leave things as they are and it's not your deal to fix. Sometimes it's the other person's job to do the fixing. And sometimes it's for the best. And if you do need to fix it, you always have God to help. Trust in God is essential to enduring life. Not just getting through, but enduring. God always wants to help us, even if we haven't talked to Him for a while or if we have done something horrible; and sometimes He helps us by making us do things on our own. He always helps. So it's important to trust Him and that He is leading you in a better way than you could yourself. This is something I have learned over and over again lately.

Let's take a moment to think more. I mean, we trusted that His son would come down to save us, didn't we? That that was the great part of His plan that would lead us home? If we trusted in Him and His son before this life, why not trust Him now?

Back to me to show you how this trust thing works. After my period of not trusting anyone like I had, I prayed and God led me down a path of showing major trust in someone. I took a leap of faith knowing that God would not lead me astray from His path. And so far, it has been a big comfort. I am happier than I have been in a while. I know that God always helps me, I know that trusting people brings us happiness and comfort that we are not alone, and I know that God trusts me; He trusts me to follow His will and help others follow His will as well. Trust is a two way street, and when followed, it leads to salvation. We weren't meant to walk alone, so we use trust to endure life together. We swap trust.

Your Friendly Shorty,

Katie :D

A Strange Christmas

So on Sunday, Dec 22, my family got together and kinda celebrated Christmas. No gifts that day, but some of my aunts and uncles (being in the medical field) had to work on Christmas and/or Christmas Eve. 

On Monday, my immediate family took my grandma out to lunch. Then we took her back to her assisted living place and talked for a bit. 

Sometime Monday night, my grandma fell. She broke her pelvis and her arm, and already had a broken rib from something else. She was confused and disoriented (probably from the pain). 

They operated on her arm Christmas morning. 

Christmas Eve night, we were all on pins and needles, worrying. My aunts and uncles (being in the medical field) kept talking about it and most of it went over my head. But I did understand that we should maybe probably have a document of her final wishes on hand and she could have trouble coming off "the vent" (machine that breathes for you). 

Needless to say, I was beyond worried. 

So what did I do? I texted some of my Mormon friends and asked them to pray for her. Their quick response and willingness to pray, not just for her but for our entire family, was amazing. 

The surgery went well, she's doing fine, and she's sleeping off the meds :) 

But what I wanna talk about is the power of prayer. My grandma is almost 90 years old. Yesterday could have been rocky. But many people prayed for her. A lot. It could be just a coinkydink. Maybe she would have been fine even if we didn't pray. I have no way of knowing. But if all my medical family members were that worried, then there was a legitimate reason to worry. 

It makes me feel so comforted and loved to know that so many people prayed for my grandma. It calmed me down considerably. 

I'm not entirely sure what I'm trying to say here. Mostly, I just wanna say that prayer is awesome. "Hope Always and Pray Constantly." And all those prayers Christmas Eve and Christmas morning... 'Twas powerful. 

<3 Marie-Rose

BYU

So my first choice for what college I wanna go to is BYU. I figure, being a new convert and leaving home for the first time, it'd be easier for me to be surrounded by other members. It'd be more natural to stick to my standards, and it'd be much easier to find an awesome guy :)

But guess what.

As mentioned in this post, I can't go to BYU :( it's crazy far away from where I live. My mom doesn't want me to be that far away. And the major I originally wanted to go for (fashion design, yeah!) doesn't exist at BYU. RAWR.

So I shall be going someplace else. It has Institute, but the program is super small (yes, I look into all this stuff waaay ahead of time!). Plus out of state tuition is nasty. *sigh*

But ya know what I figure? There's gotta be a reason BYU isn't gonna work out. There's gotta be something at the college I plan on going to that I need to do/see/experience.

So the plan is to trust in Heavenly Father's timing and His plan because it's much more awesometastic than mine could ever be :)

<3 Marie-Rose

PS sorry this is so short compared to my usual posts. Wifi has not been my friend the past couple days, so I haven't been online to post. I've got wifi for the moment, but not for very long, so I had to make it quick in order to get the post up.

SMILE!

This is a happy post. This is an "I hope you're happy" post. This is an "I want you to be happy" post.

I've had days and weeks and occasionally months where happy is the last thing I want to be. I know how that goes. And honestly, I have no foolproof way to turn that frown upside down. I've frequently wondered if there's some works-every-time path-to-happiness out there. Guess what! There's not. 

But Marie-Rose! That sounds super depressing! I thought this post was gonna make me smile, like the title says! 

Well. First I'm gonna tell the story behind SMILE. It's in all caps, in case you hadn't noticed. 

BatMoose, one of my bestest friends, has had a rough few months. One day a long time ago, we were texting and she had to leave for work. She didn't wanna go, cuz her job is super boring. So I told her to SMILE! :D mostly cuz it's good customer service to smile. But also cuz I wanted (and still want) her to be happy. And since then, it's been our thing. 

Unfortunately, we've barely been able to talk to each other in a long time. Long story short, her parents won't let her talk to me cuz I'm Mormon. 

So how does this turn into a happy post? Because I want YOU to be happy. Because Heavenly Father wants you to be happy. Because, as BatMoose once told me, remember 2 Corinthians 4:

"Mortal trials are nothing as contrasted with eternal glory...we are troubled on every side, yet not distressed, we are perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not destroyed."

Because "men are that they might have joy" (someone please tell me what scripture that is because I don't know and I really should!). (Update: thank you to WhitneySue for finding it! 2 Nephi 2:25)

Because "every storm runs / runs outta rain / just like every dark night / turns into day / every heartache / will fade away / just like every storm runs / runs outta rain" :) (Gary Allan, "Every Storm (Runs Out of Rain)")

Because I promise things will look better eventually. Because D&C 121:7-9

"7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.

9 Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands."

I love when the scriptures speak of peace. Feeling peace is how I know the BOM is true. Life is hectic. Even just the idea of peace brings me comfort. I may have said this before, but I was once told that peace is the only emotion that Satan can't duplicate. 

So SMILE :D happy is good. Be happy, and you're good :)

<3 Marie-Rose

PS I drew that smiley face in my scripture journal. Partially because I didn't want to have to cite an image source (it's super difficult to do from my iPod), but mostly because I wanted to draw a smiley face just for my awesome followers :) 

Eternal Awesomeness

I know I've done a post like this before. But I'm just so excited, guys. This is some exciting stuff. 

Six. Months. From. Today. 

Oookkaaayyy, but Marie-Rose, what's so special about June 14?? 

I wanna be baptized that day, that's what's special about it!! 

SIX MONTHS!!!!! That's so very crazy close!! And super exciting! 

It doesn't feel real yet. It probably won't feel real for a very long time. Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for a possibility rather than a certainty. Like an "I might be able to get baptized" rather than an "I WILL GET BAPTIZED." I still WANT to either way. But oftentimes I'm scared that something will prevent it. Which is totally irrational, cuz I will be 18 and I can't think of anything that could stop it. But ya know how, whenever you want something SOOO much, it seems like it always falls through? I'm terrified of that. 

Because I want to be baptized more than I've ever wanted anything. 

Earthly desires are one thing. But baptism is important. It means something eternally. And I want that eternal awesomeness. I want the Holy Ghost to be with me, I want to be worthy to have Him with me, and I want to be baptized. 

<3 Marie-Rose

Ps I saw Batmoose today and it MADE MY DAY. I hope you still read this, Batmoose :) <3 I got you a Christmas present. Hopefully I see you on Thursday. I love you! 

Fog

I used to like fog. I thought it was pretty. I still think it's kinda pretty.

Image source

But now I have to drive in it.

Image source

Driving in fog is not fun. It's not as bad as driving in the snow (in my opinion), but it's really hard to see much of anything. Joy.

How many speakers have used fog as an analogy for clouded spiritual sight? Not being able to focus on Jesus Christ because there's just so much stuff in the way? I'm thinking of one talk in particular, namely Now Is the Time to Arise and Shine! by Elaine S. Dalton. She describes a young woman, Florence Chadwick, who's a talented swimmer. In attempting to swim a great distance, Florence gave up because she could not see the shoreline, because of the fog (PS she was within a mile of the coastline but she couldn't see it and didn't know how close she was).

I don't swim. But some days, I drive past the Stake Center. On a sunny day, I can see the tall spire thingy from far away, long before I can see the building itself. But on a cloudy day, the white spire is difficult to see because of the grayish white clouds behind it. Now, on a foggy day.... yeah, I can't see it at all. It's sad. But when I get closer, almost right next to the building, I can see the spire IF I remember to look up! (Which reminds me of another talk, by Carl B. Cook- It Is Better to Look Up)

Life is foggy. Foggy distractions are a side effect of living on Earth. There's not really a way to completely avoid them. BUT! It's easier to see through the fog if you keep close to Heavenly Father. Like when I drive past the Stake Center on a foggy day- it's easier to see the inspiring spire if I'm right next to the building. But I also need to look up, towards Him, always.

Well, obviously I can't literally look up all the time. Just when I'm right next to the Stake Center and I want the reassurance of seeing that spire. But I can spiritually look up all the time. At least, I can try to :) No one's perfect, it's hard to center your mind around spiritual thoughts 24/7. But we can try :)

<3 Marie-Rose

Self Improvement

I need to work on being more outgoing.

I'm usually really shy. I don't go up to people and start conversations. I don't go out of my way to make friends in my classes (I'm not at the same school I was at last year, so I don't know a lot of my classmates). The only time I consider myself to be even slightly outgoing is at work, cuz being a cashier, I kind of have to be comfortable talking to people.

Well guess what. When I go to college, I'll need to be able to talk to people so I can make new friends. I will hardly know anyone when I get there (if I went to BYU, I would know people, but I won't be going to BYU and that's a story for another post).

Guess what else. You can't have missionary moments if you never talk to anyone.

So I need to work on being more outgoing. My speech class is really helping with that. Very few people in the class are quiet. It's like they took all the loud, talkative, friendly people and put them all in the same class. Which makes class really entertaining :) it's actually my favorite class. And being required to get up and talk in front of these people... it forces me to be less shy. I get to know my classmates and we're all super supportive of one another. Plus I can talk to them about my religion :)

*seemingly random change of subject*

The other day, my family went to go get a Christmas tree. After much wandering, we had chosen one and were dragging it back to the barn where the people running the tree farm would shake it out and put netting around it so we could easily get it home. We passed a young family, also dragging a tree. They had only one child, less than four years old, and the parents were having difficulties carrying everything. The tree farm provides everyone with a saw and a measuring stick (so you know if your tree will fit in your living room), and the couple couldn't carry the saw, the stick, and the tree all at once. Plus the little girl was too young to help.

So I walked up and asked if they needed me to carry anything. It's something I would normally only do at work.  I kinda surprised myself. They were super grateful and asked if  I could carry their saw and measuring stick. But that's not the point of me telling this story. The point of telling the story is to prove to myself that I can talk to random people in public. (PS we had been planning on getting our tree a different day and then plans changed, so maybe Heavenly Father had a hand in helping this couple out? It could have been a prompting that caused me to walk over to them...)

Cuz, after all, if you can't talk to people, how can you spread the gospel?

Image source

<3 Marie-Rose

212 Days

Guess what today is.

It's November 14. Guess what happens 7 months from today.

Seven months from today is June 14, 2014. That, my friends, is the day I will be baptized. 212 days from today.

It's been a year and 5 months since I decided I wanted to join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. THAT'S SUPER AWESOME. I am SO EXCITED.

I know this Church is true. I know because I feel peace when I read the scriptures. I know because simply thinking about how happy I'll be when I get baptized makes me super happy now. I know because the gospel has brought me nothing but joy. I know because every time I see the little spire thingy on the Stake Center, I'm reminded of how awesome this Church is. I know because talking about our faith brings my friends and I closer. I know because I've felt the Spirit prompting me in the right direction.

I KNOW that I'm in the right place. I know I belong here.

Happy happy happy :D

In the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN.

<3 Marie-Rose

PS I'm not doing 30 days of Thanksgiving like lots of the awesome bloggers I follow, cuz I know I would forget or not have time and feel bad cuz I missed a day, but today I'm thankful for my faith :D

Changed by Rascal Flatts

"I came up out of the water
Raised my hands up to the Father
Gave it all to him that day
Felt a new wind kiss my face
Walked away, Eyes wide open
Could finally see where I was going
It didn't matter where I'd been
I'm not the same man I was then

I got off track, I made mistakes
Back slid my way into that place where souls get lost
Lines get crossed
and the pain won't go away
I hit my knees, Now here I stand
There I was, now here I am
Here I am
Changed

I got a lot of "Hey, I'm sorry"s
The things I've done
Man, that was not me
I wish that I could take it all back
I just want to tell em' that
Tell 'em that

I got off track, I made mistakes
Back slid my way into that place where souls get lost
Lines get crossed
and the pain won't go away
I hit my knees, Now here I stand
There I was, now here I am
Here I am

I'm changed for the better
More smiles, less bitter
I'm even starting to forgive myself

I hit my knee, I'm here I stand
There I was, now here I am
Here I am, Here I am, Here I am
Changed
Yes I am
I'm changed for the better.
Thank God I'm changed."
(Source link)


I absolutely love this song. It totally fits me. "I hit my knees, now here I stand" :) and the first bit, about baptism- that WILL be me. I can't wait to get baptized.

Image source

The abbreviated story:
Remember how, in my conversion story post, I said after YC I started questioning my entire Catholic belief system and my emotional state was "not good"? Well, it went a little deeper than simply "not good," and it stayed that way for a long time. Sophomore year sucked. So did parts of junior year. I'm much better now, but I have a lil ways to go yet. This song, Changed, is like my theme song.

One time, I was driving home with my best friend, Katie, in the passenger seat. Changed came on the radio, so of course I had to sing along. It had been an amazing day, and I was super content with where I was, spiritually and emotionally. I'm not sure if she could hear it in my voice, but the feeling of peace and contentment was strong. It was amazing.

Anywho, the moral of the story is that it gets better. There will be times when your life takes a downhill turn.

And there will be times when you feel "Changed" and like you can smile again.

<3 Marie-Rose

I wanna be baptized!

D'you know how excited I am for that day to finally come? I even have a date picked out, even though it won't be until June. I have a countdown and everything.

244 days until June 14, 2014, in case you wondered :)

No, that date is not my birthday. See, on June 12, 2012, I made the decision to be baptized. Two days later, I told my parents (June 14). So the 14th is kinda special for that reason. Plus, in 2014, the 12th isn't a Saturday, but the 14th is. And EFY will be that week, so most of my friends would be out of town on the 12th. But they should be back by Saturday evening (I hope)!

It's been a long time to wait. I still have a long time to go. But at the end of these two years I've been waiting, it'll totally be worth it.

Sometimes I feel left out and frustrated that I haven't been baptized yet. My friends do everything they can to help me not feel like that, and I appreciate it very muchly, but it still happens.

Sometimes, tho, I'm just so excited to be so close. It doesn't matter that it hasn't happened yet. It will soon. My mind is made up and nothing will stop me :)

<3 Marie-Rose

Sometimes you feel worthless

I know how that goes. I've been kinda down for the past week or so. So I'm gonna give you some advice, and hopefully I'll follow it too :)

Always remember that you are loved. Heavenly Father loves you more than you could ever imagine.

2 Nephi 2:25 "...and men are, that they might have joy"

Remember that one other post? "Hope Always," where I talked about the "depression verses"? Those are especially appropriate when you're in a self-pity mood that you can't shake.

Ya know what else? I read this quote once, I forget who said it, but "talk to yourself as you would to someone you love." That means don't tear yourself apart. Don't beat yourself up. If your friend felt like you do now, how would you cheer them up? Do yourself a favor and treat yourself like a dear friend. You gotta love yourself, cuz you gotta deal with yourself for quite a while :)

Another quote: "Don't give up... Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead... You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come." -Jeffrey R Holland

And one last quote, cuz I super like quotes "Never let weakness convince you that you lack strength" -Unknown

<3 Marie-Rose

Hope Always

Image source

The following verses are very special to me.
-2 Nephi 1:13 "O that ye would awake; awake from a deep sleep, yea, even from the sleep of hell, and shake off the awful chains by which ye are bound, which are the chains which bind the children of men, that they are carried away captive down to the eternal gulf of misery and woe"
-> those chains? I see those as the chains of "misery and woe," of depression, of sadness in general. And while it's perfectly normal (healthy, even) to be sad from time to time, it's not okay to dwell on it. So if you find yourself having a pity party and dwelling on your chains of awfulness, "awake from a deep sleep"!! Heavenly Father wants you to be happy :)

-2 Nephi 1:15 "...I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love"
-> now isn't that just an amazing thought? Think of that. ETERNALLY. Heavenly Father loves YOU!

-2 Nephi 2:27 "Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself"
-> remember how I said Heavenly Father wants you to be happy? Well, the devil "seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." Rude! Don't give the devil the satisfaction of seeing you hurt and sad and all that not-fun stuff. It says right here that you have the power to choose between them. Now, I understand that some people legitimately have a chemical imbalance in their brains that makes that choice nearly impossible. And the original intent of this verse is to motivate you to keep His commandments, not to motivate you to let yourself be happy. But you understand my point, right? I like to think of this verse both ways. I need to choose the right, and I need to let myself be happy. Cuz sometimes I have problems letting myself be happy.

-2 Nephi 4:20-21 "My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep. He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh"
-> happy happy happy :) Heavenly Father is always there for you :)

-2 Nephi 4:26-28 "...why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions? And why should I yield to win, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace, and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy? Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul"
-> when I read these verses, I wrote in my journal, "why should I be depressed? Not why AM I, why SHOULD I? Big difference." Think about that difference in context of those verses.

I call these the "depression verses," because even tho the original intent was to warn against sin, they're great motivation to stop a pity party. I know they helped me a lot in times of trial.

As I said earlier, motivation doesn't work for some people. Not everyone can simply make the choice to be happy and have it work. If that's you, don't beat yourself up about it! I've been there. And I know you've heard this before, but d'you know what you can do to find happiness again? Get help! There are people out there who can help you! It's not a sign of weakness. Admitting that you can't do something on your own is a sign of great strength. Trust me.

<3 Marie-Rose